My Child is a Better Person Than I (At Least More Reasonable)

I've had an ongoing conversation with my six-year-old daughter for the last couple of days. It started with me wondering if Dairy Queen still sells the "Crunch Coat" ice cream cone I used to love. The kid comes up with some wild idea involving going to the counter and actually asking one of the employees, while I prefer the time-honored method of ordering the item and acting unreasonably irritated when I learn they don't carry it any more. Somebody please back me up on this, I'm losing the argument.

PAIN

I've been with my wife for almost 16 years now (married for almost 13), and she's never been able to successfully tease me about anything for more than about 15 minutes. Now that I've started this blog, she's finally found something she can apparently latch on to for...well it's been about a week so far. It's gotten to the point where, if I mention the blog at all, she goes into an uncontrollable laughing fit. The worst part is I can't really defend myself, since I also find a high level of dork factor tied to the title of "Blogger". She's probably feeding off of the fear she's created in me right now....

LITERATURE

I'm working on two pieces right now, one a short essay, the other could turn into a book. The essay was born from a request from friends that I explain my argument that Rednecks, White Trash, and Hillbillies are three seperate, distinguishable subsects of humanity. Believe me, I have extended experience with all three, and not just in my family. I'll post the essay when it's finished. No promise on timeline.

The book, if it gets that long, is going to take place during one week in approximately 1978, and recount a vacation where my family visited my Uncle's farm in Tennessee. BTW...since my sister has chastised me for not writing for a couple of days, I'll tell you in advance that part of the story will involve her getting attacked by a locust that thought she was going to eat it.

COINCIDENCE?

I'm sure everyone noticed the story last week about the guy who showed up at the state Democratic Party Headquarters in Little Rock, AR and killed the party chair. The guy's home town was Searcy, AR. My dad used to live there, and I've spent some time there....I'm not really surprised.

This leads me back to the essay I mentioned earlier. Hillbilly is a lifestyle choice, Redneck is a state of mind, while White Trash is both a socio-economic subsect and a lifestyle choice. You'll have to wait 'til I'm finished to get the rest, I don't want to give it all away.